Ciara's ePortfolio

ENG 122 site

Exit prompt

At first when coming into college reading and writing I really thought it was a pointless class. All throughout middle school and highschool I was in Honors and AP english classes and always had straight A+’s. Writing was my best and favorite subject so I did not understand why I was in this class. I came in with that attitude that I did not have anything to learn because I was already the best, but let me tell you I was wrong. I learned so much about revision and gain so many better writing skills from this year long class.

Nancy Sommers wrote an essay in 1980 about the revision strategies of student writers. She says that “students understand the revision process as a rewording activity”. She explains that students will reword and restate their ideas in different ways when the revise their papers but they are missing the larger picture. Before this class I was definitely missing that larger picture. Sommers believes that when you revise your papers, you come up with new ideas and those ideas are what make the revision worth while.

Sommers thoughts on how students typically revise papers describe me before taking this course. I would only look at local errors such as spelling and punctuations. I was not expanding my ideas and thinking of new ones to make my paper better. I believe it is so important to dig deeper when revising to make a paper the best it can be. Like in the discourse analysis paper, a writer should not only be affirming other author’s ideas, but also adding to them and challenging them. To be a better writer you have to challenge yourself to look for the deeper meaning and understand it.

Since reading Habits of The Creative Mind by Miller and Jurecic and working though many revision strategies I have theorized that revisions are a way to expand and explain your own ideas. Sometimes in a revision you will realize that you did not really follow the prompt or answer the question you had. You may also realize that you did not have a thesis, or that your paper does not really relate to your thesis. Revisions also consist of reorganizing your papers so that they flow and make sense to the reader. This course has made me a way better writer, and there was definately a lot of valuable information to learn. If I could go back to the first day of English 122, I would have taken the class way more serious and tried to apply myself a lot more. I definitely missed some things while I was being over confident and thinking I had nothing to learn. The skills I learned in College Reading and Writing have been so helpful not only for writing papers in this class, but in all my classes including my Quantitative Reasonings and Environmental classes. I will use these skills for the rest of my life because revisions are what makes an ok paper stand out from an amazing paper.

Chosen Discourse Framing Statement

For the chosen discourse analysis project I chose to analyze the construction discourse, specifically building houses. In my analysis I found two articles about the process of building a house and also one solely about all the different identities in construction.

When writing this paper I made one draft that got peer edited and then I started a new draft, which turned into my final. The prewriting for this paper was all in the building task worksheets. This laid the foundation for what I was going to write about. In reading the artifacts and doing the worksheets I found that language was the most important aspect of the building tasks. This discovery in my prewriting lead me to the claim of my paper that the language is most important and therefore makes it hard to mushfake your way into the discourse. As far as local revision go, we worked in class a lot with comma placements. You can see in my first draft  that I highlighted and noted all my good comma placements and fixed a few.  Globally, I made lots of changes to the structure and organization of the paper, and you can can see that in my final draft. I also added better in text citations and quotes to support my ideas.

In past papers I have had trouble with intergratting my ideas with others. I even have had problems intergrating the ideas of multiple authors within one paper, but I focused a lot of my revision on this. My most major intergration is when  I challenged Gee’s ideas of primry and secondary discourses. I quoted his definition of each type of discourse and then put my own thoughts in about them being a hybrid.

Because this paper was an analysis and we needed artifacts, there was a lot of active and critical reading involved. In the building task worksheet blog posts, I shared pictures of my annotations. There was not many markups on the readings but there was lots of notes and analysis on the worksheets I did while reading.

For critiquing my own and other’s work I think that  I have improved, especially in critiquing myself. This project was a little difficult because we each had 4 other papers to peer edit, as well as be working on our own papers. It is also difficult because if you are not the first one to edit, you run out of good productive feedback to leave. I worked a lot on checking my paper for errors. When we did the workshops in class for commas and thing I took that very seriously and made sure those local errors were all taken care of. I also did each of the homeworks and revision plan thoroughly.

I used quotes from three sources, one being Gee and the other two were articles I found in my research. Quoting Gee was easy because we already have in papers before and we have already gone over in class what the end citation should look like. I used perdue owl to help me with my other two sources. We also worked in class with in text citations. I learned that when you use a signal phrase and say the author’s name in the sentence, you do not need to put end citations with the authors name. For example when I say “Gee defines a Primary Discourse as one that we acquire “through our primary socialization early in life in the home and peer group” (7)” I do not need (Gee page number). But when I say “He defines Discourse with the seven building tasks, “saying (writing)-doing-being-valuing-believing combinations” (Gee 6)” I do need (Gee page number). 

Overall I believe this was my best paper yet. I paid really close attention to all the homeworks and strategies to improve my paper. I also did a good job with integrating my ideas in with others, instead of just summarizing things. I really struggled with this last semester and all the beginning of this semester.

3rd Building Task Worksheet

It was difficult trying to find another artifact for my paper. This one I found was kind of weird, but definitely interesting. It was a short dialogue blog post about “a discourse on building houses”. It was a funny example of how building houses is like writing a paper. I found it relevant both to my discourse, especially in the language aspect, as well as being relevant to learning how to write a good paper. There were many things missing and not done correctly on this “house” and the “builder” decided just to destroy it and start new. “Now we can rebuild! Make it better than before!”. Sometimes with writing a paper you do just need to start fresh and get your ideas in order 


Time on task: 30 minutes 

collreadwrit2a

Drawing Conclusions

  1. In “Literacy, Discourses, and Linguistics: Introductions” by James Paul Gee, he introduces us to the ideas of Discourse. He defines Discourse with the seven building tasks, “saying (writing)-doing-being-valuing-believing combinations” (Gee 6). He also says that “a Discourse is a sort of ‘identity kit’ which comes complete with the appropriate costume and instructions on how to act, talk,and often write” (Gee 7). Every Discourse has its own unique combinations that will characterize it as either a primary, secondary, dominant, or non-dominant Discourse. To become fluent in a discourse you must go through an apprenticeship with a master. The language, or “saying (writing)” aspect is the most important aspect of this discourse because you must know the unique discourse language to be able to understand it, therefore you will not be able to mushfake your way in.
    1. Of Gee’s 7 building tasks, the language one is most important when acquiring a new discourse.
  2. The Discourse of construction, specifically building houses, can be primary or secondary, depending on the individual. Being a builder is a primary Discourse because you can learn it at home when you are young from your family. If you were not exposed to this Discourse from an early age, it would be considered a secondary Discourse, one in which you acquire from school or work. The Discourse of building houses is also a dominant Discourse because it brings in social goods such as money, learning new skills, gaining experience, and even bringing in more customers when they see the great work your company is capable of.
    1. The Discourse of construction and building houses is a hybrid discourse between primary and secondary.
    2. Point- can be primary or secondary depending on the individual
  3. Building houses is a long process that involves many different people. As far as identities go, there are a lot. You start with the homeowner and home building firm. Within the building firm there are developers, architects, sales consultants, construction superintendents, and many more important roles. The house building Discourse is very unique because it uses lots of “language” that means one thing to everyday people, but a whole different thing to the workers. One example from the Curry article is the word elevation, which in the case of building houses, means the look on the front facade of the home. Because of all these homographs, and other unique words, I think it will be hard to mushfake your way through this Discourse.
    1. In every discourse there are “identity kits” and in construction there are many different identities that make building a house possible.  
    2. Point- many different identities
  4. Gee defines a Primary Discourse as one that we acquire “through our primary socialization early in life in the home and peer group” (Gee 7). A Secondary Discourse, on the other hand, is something that we acquire through “interacts with various non-home based social institutions- institutions in the public sphere, beyond the family and immediate kin and peer group” (Gee 8). Building houses can either be a primary or secondary Discourse, depending on the individual. For me it is my primary Discourse because my dad has been a builder since before I was born and growing up, I was always around him, at the job sites, and exposed to the house building Discourse. Gee says that Primary Discourses are acquired “not by overt instruction, but by being a member of a primary socializing group (family, clan, peer group)” (Gee 8). I came into the Discourse from my dad (family). To someone else, the construction Discourse would be secondary. With a Secondary Discourse “we are given access to these institutions [local stores and churches, schools, community groups, state and national businesses, agencies and organizations, and so forth] and are allowed apprenticeship with in them” (Gee 8). Building houses is a job that most people start sometime after school, so they are given access to the institution, and they have an apprenticeship under a master of house building, where they learn and will acquire their secondary Discourse.
    1. Depending on the individual the construction discourse can either be primary or secondary.
    2. Point- can be primary or secondary
  5. According to Gee, Dominant Discourses “bring with it the (potential) acquisition of social ‘goods’ (money, prestige, status, etc.)” (Gee 8). In construction, whether if is your primary or secondary, you can get social good from it. In the article by Pat Curry, she says that the goal is to “deliver a high quality, pristine home”(Curry 5) and when companies build houses such  as these they earn a high status among other builders. Also workers get social goods in the form of getting experience, learning new skills, and getting paid.
    1. Building houses is a dominant discourse because you earn social goods from it, no matter if it is your primary or secondary discourse.
    2. Point- dominant discourse
  6. Gee defines Discourses as “saying (writing)-doing-being-valuing-believing combinations” (Gee 6). The “saying (writing)” part is very important for all Discourses because the language used is what will separate the masters from the mushfakers. There are many terms in the construction Discourse that, without knowledge, you would not understand. In the Susan Bady article, she used words such as footings, house wrap, dried in, r-value, HVAC, and many others. There are also lots of words that are homographs, or a word that has different meaning, depending on what Discourse they are being used in. One example is “cure”, which most people think means restoring health, but in this case it actually is the time needed for a concrete foundation to harden before building can start (Bady 2). “Foundation” is another example becauses people could think it means the makeup product, when actually it is the concrete base of a house (Curry 4). Without having been in the Discourse, ordinary people will not know the lingo that goes along with building houses, and will be very confused.
    1. The saying part is the most important aspect because you need to know the language to be able to get into the discourse.
    2. Point- can’t mushfake your way in

 

  • Does my analysis of this particular Discourse have components that do not quite fit into a straightforward application of Gee’s ideas? What are they? (If so, perhaps you have something important to ADD to – or even CHALLENGE Gee’s sense of – the ways that Discourses work.)
    • Yes they challenge the idea of of primary and secondary. I introduce the idea of a hybrid of the two.
  • Are there reasons to consider the ways your Discourse works very similarly to other, perhaps related Discourses? Maybe your Discourse is a subset of a broader set of Discourses. (If so, perhaps your analysis may be able to tell us about this broader set of Discourses.)
    • It can relate to other physical labor discourses such as mechanics or landscaping. I do not find a need to consider these tho because there is not really a way to incorporate them and it won’t really add much to my point.
  • Our Discourse analyses are all limited by the source material from which we’ve drawn. Hopefully, you’ve chosen really good artifacts that help you reveal some key features of the Discourse. But there are probably some important LIMITATIONS that you can see. What are they? These are possibly areas for further inquiry should one pursue the project further.
    • Some limitations are my use of language and quotes from my artifacts. I need to go back and pull bigger pieces or just find new ones with better examples of language since the main point of my paper is the language.

Restructuring and Post-Draft Outline

My rough draft is all over the place. My path is not a straight line whatsoever. I revised some parts and added a strong intro with a clear point stated. I have a fork where I explain whether it is a primary or secondary discourse. One paragraph I say it is a secondary discourse only and then in the next paragraph I suggest that it may be a hybrid combo of both secondary and primary.  I also have some gaps because I am mostly summarizing my sources and not integrating them together to explain my claim. I need to work on my mastery of detail. Some places I do really well introducing the source, using a quote, and explaining in my own words how it connects to everything. Other places I state an idea or term from Gee with no background or definition of it, which can also cause gaps for the reader. Since I have now picked and stated my solid claim in the intro I can better structure my paper. I need to briefly talk about the 7 building tasks and focus and write more on the language part because I claimed that is the most important building task.

Time On Task: 60 minutes

collreadwrit2a

Two Paragraph Revisions

I revised my first paragraph because it was only two sentences introducing two of my artifacts. In my revision I make it a full paragraph explaining what my claim was and properly introduced Gee. In my peer review questions Hailey noted that I had two potential claims so I looked through my evidence and chose the one that I could write most about. This paragraph went from

My chosen discourse is building houses. The first artifact I chose was an article titled Who’s Who on Your Building Team by Pat Curry. My other article is A Step-by-Step Guide to the Home Building Process by Susan Bady.” 

to

“In “Literacy, Discourses, and Linguistics: Introductions” by James Paul Gee, he introduces us to the ideas of Discourse. He defines Discourse with the seven building tasks, “saying (writing)-doing-being-valuing-believing combinations” (Gee 6). He also says that “a Discourse is a sort of ‘identity kit’ which comes complete with the appropriate costume and instructions on how to act, talk,and often write” (Gee 7). Every Discourse has its own unique combinations that will characterize it as either a primary, secondary, dominant, or non-dominant Discourse.To become fluent in a discourse you must go through an apprenticeship with a master. The language, or “saying (writing)” aspect is the most important aspect of this discourse because you must know the unique discourse language to be able to understand it, therefore you will not be able to mushfake your way in.”

My next paragraph I revised was

Building houses is a long process that involves many different people. Being a builder can either be a primary discourse because you can learn it at home when you are young from your family, or it could also be  secondary discourse that you acquire from school or work. The discourse of building houses is also dominant discourse because it brings in social goods such as money, learning new skills, gaining experience, and even bringing in more customers when they see the great work your company is capable of. As far as identities go, there are a lot. You start with the homeowner and home building firm. Within the building firm there are developers, architects, sales consultants, construction superintendents, and many more important roles. The house building discourse is very unique because it uses lots of “language” that means one thing to everyday people, but a whole different thing to the workers. One example from the Curry article is the word elevation, which in the case of building houses, means the look on the front facade of the home. Because of all these homographs, and other unique words, I think it will be hard to mushfake your way through this discourse.”

I reorganized some of the ideas here and broke it into two paragraphs and had the first one as

“The Discourse of construction, specifically building houses, can be primary or secondary, depending on the individual. Being a builder is a primary Discourse because you can learn it at home when you are young from your family. If you were not exposed to this Discourse from an early age, it would be considered a secondary Discourse, one in which you acquire from school or work. The Discourse of building houses is also a dominant Discourse because it brings in social goods such as money, learning new skills, gaining experience, and even bringing in more customers when they see the great work your company is capable of.” 

 

Time On Task: 70 minutes

collreadwrit2a

Revision Plan

As far as artifacts go, I originally had two in my paper. After writing the first draft I found a third but have not used it in my paper yet. I have enough artifacts, but Cripps suggested to find an article about family homebuilders. For the artifacts I already have I need to pull more from them, as well as from Gee. Quotes about mushfakers and masters will really make my argument solid by having his definitions of these two things. In the articles I chose for artifacts, I need to pull more about the language. I had “foundation” and “cure” but I need to find bigger pieces, such as sentences and phrases to really support my ideas.

In my revised draft I also need to add an introduction to my discourse and clearly state my argument. Hailey pointed out that I have two potential arguments:

  1.  You can’t mushfake your way into this discourse
  2. It is both a primary and secondary discourse

After talking to Cripps I found that even though it may have qualities of a primary discourse, it actually isn’t. I need to go back and talk about how it is just a secondary discourse and use evidence from my artifacts to support it. I will make my argument clear that you cannot mushfake your way into the construction discourse. To add to my argument about mushfaking I will add information about Gee’s ideas of transfer, early socialization,  and proteges.

Time on Task: 30 minutes

collreadwrit2e

Note to Peers- Chosen Discourse Project

My paper is about this discourse of building houses. In my paper I talk about how it is hard to mushfake your way through this discourse because there is a lot of language that is unique to the construction discourse. I did not have a main question or problem that my writing addressed, instead I just analyzed the discourse. I have made a successful point about the language I use what Gee says about the saying (writing) part of a discourse along with specific examples from my artifacts to prove this. One thing I could improve on is my introduction, and ultimately the conclusion as well. Lastly do I have to have 3 sources or can I just use 2?

Time On Task: 15 minutes

collreaadwrit2a

Building Tasks to Writing Prompt

Gee defines a Primary Discourse as one that we acquire “through our primary socialization early in life in the home and peer group” (Gee 7). A Secondary Discourse, on the other hand, is something that we acquire through “interacts with various non-home based social institutions- institutions in the public sphere, beyond the family and immediate kin and peer group” (Gee 8). Building houses can either be a primary or secondary discourse, depending on the individual. For me it is my primary discourse because my dad has been a builder since before I was born and growing up, I was always around him, at the job sites, and exposed to the house building discourse. Gee says that Primary Discourses are acquired “not by overt instruction, but by being a member of a primary socializing group (family, clan, peer group)” (Gee 8). I came into the discourse from my dad (family). To someone else, the construction discourse would be secondary. With a Secondary Discourse “we are given access to these institutions [local stores and churches, schools, community groups, state and national businesses, agencies and organizations, and so forth] and are allowed apprenticeship with in them” (Gee 8). Building houses is a job that most people start sometime after school, so they are given access to the institution, and they have an apprenticeship under a master of house building, where they learn and will acquire their secondary discourse.

Gee defines Discourses as “saying (writing)-doing-being-valuing-believing combinations” (6). In the building task worksheets I analyzed artifacts and found the saying (writing)-doing-being-valuing-believing aspects of the discourse. The “saying(writing)” aspect is most important in order to join, and eventually master this discourse. In the article “A Step-by-Step Guide to the Home Building Process” by Susan Bady, there are many unique pieces of language, that without knowledge of the discourse, you wouldn’t understand. One example is “cure”. Most people when then hear this think of someone being sick and needing a remedy to cure them, or make them feel better. In construction, cure means the time needed for the concrete foundation to harden before being ready to be built on.

Time on task: 1 hours

collreadwrit2a

Discourse Analysis Worksheet Assignment

My chosen discourse is building houses. The first artifact I chose was an article titled Who’s Who on Your Building Team by Pat Curry. My other article is A Step-by-Step Guide to the Home Building Process by Susan Bady.

Building houses is a long process that involves many different people. Being a builder can either be a primary discourse because you can learn it at home when you are young from your family, or it could also be  secondary discourse that you acquire from school or work. The discourse of building houses is also dominant discourse because it brings in social goods such as money, learning new skills, gaining experience, and even bringing in more customers when they see the great work your company is capable of. As far as identities go, there are a lot. You start with the homeowner and home building firm. Within the building firm there are developers, architects, sales consultants, construction superintendents, and many more important roles. The house building discourse is very unique because it uses lots of “language” that means one thing to everyday people, but a whole different thing to the workers. One example from the Curry article is the word elevation, which in the case of building houses, means the look o the front facade of the home. Because of all these homographs, and other unique words, I think it will be hard to mushfake your way through this discourse.

 

Time on Task: 3.5 hours

collreadwrit2a

« Older posts

© 2022 Ciara's ePortfolio

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑